First time I’ve been stood up, must be losing my touch!

I was messaging this guy online, then we began to swap text messages, he rang the once. We arranged on Tuesday night to meet Thursday night. He was 6ft 4 professional swimmer, 3 years younger than me; working in the police station and training to become a solicitor. Average looking and seemed to come across alright over messaging. I’m 6ft which I know some guys have an issue with, but he said he’s a good couple of inches on me, my height wasn’t a problem in his eyes.

So today lunchtime I sent him a text asking are we still on for later. I had no response. Later I checked my online account no message. But still I decided to doll myself up and stick to our arrangement to meet.

I turned up to the pub 10 minutes late. Walked in passed a table of Christmas office partiers having a meal. Walked down the other end of the pub, aware that older gents who no doubt prop the bar up every night where looking at me. Could I spot this tall 6ft 4 guy, nope. I knew he wasn’t going to be there but I thought I’d best turn up just incase he did show and had left home that day without his phone.

Men a simple text ‘no I can’t make tonight’ that is all he had to do, if he changed his mind about meeting. Instead I felt well a bit hurt, stupid with myself for going ahead and turning up. Plus disappointed.

I think thats it for dating 2012, its been a year of if I’m honest pretty rubbish dates. I hope 2013 fairs better.

Online dating at its worst.

Wednesday night I received a message from an online site. I checked the guys profile out. It read ok, he was 37, divorced, studying Law. It had one photo, a photo of him sitting on a couch in a bar. Badly taken photo as he was a dot in the centre, so zooming in on the photo I thought well he looks alright from what I can tell. We exchanged a few messages and he then asked for my number to text me. The next day at work we sent a few texts backwards and forwards, we had a bit of banter going. So that evening he rang me. We chatted for 20mins, before he had to cut the phone call short as he was stopping by his mums to do a few things, as she is ill, has cancer. He rang back later and again we chatted a way, I found myself flirting with this guy, he was easy to talk to, a bit cocky, but I like that sometimes. However now and then the conversation did get a bit too full on. I’m happy to talk about sex, I’m not a prude, but I hadn’t met this guy. So  a few times I had to reign the conversation in.

We we’re both out in town the next evening, so decided we’d try to meet up if not briefly just to say hi. In my mind I envisioned a tall handsome man. His profile said 6ft 2, and when speaking I mention I’m 6ft, and he said oh good I like a tall woman, I’ve a couple inches on you. He’d mentioned at one point that he’s lucky and hasn’t gone grey yet. So I was looking forward to meeting this man.

I was in the pub and received a text saying I’m walking down the street your on, I’ll ring you in 5, come out and say hi. Which I did. I pushed open the door to the pub, my mobile still in hand, and there was this guy with his mobile in his hand. Ok this was the man messaging me. I walked up to him politely said hi. He looked at us and said ‘God your tall.’

I kept the smile pasted and thinking God your short, your grey, your at a guess 10 years older than you said you were, your carrying a bit of weight. My balloon was well and truely popped and deflated. I was relieved I’d hadn’t arranged a date with this man. The photo must have been an old one that he posted, he was really I reckon 5ft 10. Why lie about yourself, your going to be found out.

He said text us if you want to hook up later, I replied I’m off clubbing with my friends, it’s my mates birthday. I smiled sweetly said goodbye turned on my heel and return to finish my vodka and coke, quite quickly. That is a first to meet someone who is nothing like their profile, I do feel creeped out a bit when I think back to our phone conversation. Warning bells should’ve rung in my mind then. Oh well hopefully thats a one off experience!

Singledom

I no longer hear the word Spinster in circulation, thank god! But you do hear the term Singledom.  

On Tuesday whilst a trip to watch Skyfall (brill film) at the cinema with my mate, she told me she’s got engaged. She’s basically met a bloke online 7 months ago and they’ve been seeing each other on weekends as he lives a 3 hour drive away. So one I’ll be loosing a mate as she’s going to move away and two it’s another friend that’s left me in the Singledom zone.  

Ok some people reading this might be thinking flippin heck marrying someone after 7 months who you’ve been having along distance relationship with. But this friend is over the mid thirties mark, very religious a Christian. I’ve known her a few years and she’s had a few short relationships, nothing serious. I do wander has she lost her virginity, but I feel uncomfortable asking her. So it doesn’t surprise me that she is getting married so quickly. I am extremely happy for her, she has blossomed these past few months I’ve never known her to be so happy. Plus well I think there’s still hope for me yet, though I don’t think personally I’d agree to marry someone after 7 months, unless we we’re planning a longish engagement, or going to but me a massive rock!!!

So what I was going to talk about was being cast into the Singledom zone. I actually do dread get togethers like I had last weekend for my friends husband birthday, the questions you get from coupled up people. ‘So hows the love life, seeing anyone, been on any hot dates?’ When the answer is no not seeing anyone at the moment, you get the pity look and you can hear the sigh, as they cling onto their other half’s arm.  Do they do that as a possession trait, like hands off bitch he’s mine. Or to rub in the fact that they’re coupled up!

Why do coupledom people pity, fear singledom? Yes I’m single, it doesn’t mean I’m desperate and going to steal your man. It’s actually ok to be single.

Dates

Ok I scrolled down the page on the dating website and its either dated him, messaged him, same old same old. Though they’re are actively online so obviously still looking. But I suddenly realise I’ve done a lot of internet dating this last year. Had some fun dates, some dates where I’m quietly saying to myself get me out of here.

There’s the random email chat up message which are basically booty calls. The one’s who have a standard one liner and send it to you every couple of weeks. The very young, where I’m thinking are you looking for a Mrs Robinson to pop your cherry. There’s the older, a recent date who I  came to believe was married and I was his bit on the side. Lets just say I’ve met some colourful people over the last year.

The quiet type

He looked cuter than his online photos, good sign. Taller than me even better. BUT… He was so quiet, yet again it was me doing all the talking, when he did talk I was like did I just hear you right! The 3 pieces of information I have about this guy, he has ‘Woof’ tattooed on his lower back. He’s moved back home with his mum at the age of 35. He goes to comic book conventions. I don’t think this one’s going on anywhere!

Feeling sorry for myself

Ok mental note to self do not browse facebook, when feeling a bit sorry for yourself on the love front.
All I see is loved up couples, wedding photos, or people sharing photos of the gorgeous bouquet their new boyfriend brought them.

Been on 2 dates recently with a fella I met online. I didn’t have high hopes for the date with my recent online experiences. But I actually had a date where I really enjoyed myself. I proper bellied laughed, can’t remeber last date where that happened this guy had a great sense of humour. We exchanged texts afterwards, where he said he had a genuine nice time, and arranged for a date the following week.

So 4 days ago we had our second date, what went wrong umm… I can’t say. I didn’t have an awful date. We had food then, cocktails and once again chatted sharing the same sense of humour. But then he suddenly called it an evening, and that was that. I thought ok 2 dates and no kiss, but then did I want to be kissed by this guy? Yes of course I wanted to be kissed, but I wanted the swept on my feet bit too. I wasn’t going to make the move, I was waiting on him, but it never happened. Oh well you win some you loose some.

However 2 days later he texted me, and we had a bit of text banter. Then I texted him yesterday and we exchanged  a few friendly texts. So I’m left confused, does this guy like us or not? He asked us out for a second date, but he never made a move on us, he kept a polite distance. This fella isn’t shy or a geek, he’s a tough looking man with tattoos, if anything in my slightly snobbish mind I think he looks rough, had a hard up bringing. So I thought thats that but then texted us 2 days later, why do that? Now I’m left wandering will, he be in touch again.

I’m not going to chase I have enough stress in my life. One I’ve the threat of redundancy and having to reapply for my job and be interviewed against colleagues. Two they’ve found precancerous cells in my smear, and I’ve got to go to hospital for further investigation and possibly treatment. So the last thing I want to spend my energies on, is chasing some guy who may or may not like us.

Maybe I’m just too old for this game and should buy a couple of cats!

Geez I am all doom and gloom at the moment, think wine, chocolate, chickflick remedy is called for and staying away from facebook.

Bad date venues

I was off to meet an online date who suggested a bar I’d never been to before, to my horror, I thought I knew all the decent bars in town! Decent might be the important word in that previous sentence. The bar was ok, apart from 2 men playing guitar and keyboards loudly. Playing what, I’ve no idea. So after a quick drink we moved on to the bar next door as typical British weather it was raining. The bar next door, could it get any worse…. yep a Michael Bolton lookalike was playing a grand piano crooning badly away to cheesy hits from the 80s. I had just experienced the worst date venues ever! Hence I suggested the 3rd bar.